Torchwood: it still aint Buffy…
Well, it is official, snogging James Marsters aka Spike aka Captain John Hart makes you go weak at the knees and paralyses you. Cap’n Hart appears out of the evening mists rather like Arnie in Terminator appearing out of nowhere. Unlike Arnie, Cap’n Hart (no bleached blonde hair) appears in an army tunic, very metrosexual, all hip gunslinger like and ready to rock. The other Cap’n, Jack comes back to Torchwood and his gang are miffed that he has left them for so long. And it is a case of re-establishing those working relationships (and the fact that Cap’n Jack, the boss, has a tendency to ask out his work colleagues on a regular basis doesn’t seem to conflict with terms and conditions in the workplace….! Just where is that union rep?)
Eventually, Jack and John meet up, passionately snog and get all OK Coral. Fighty foreplay without the sizzle! Exhausted, they guzzle booze and talk about the old days (the two go way way way back into the mists of time, space and other dimensions….) Cap’n John wants to find some radiation cluster thingies and Cap’n Jack has agreed to help. All I will say is that John aint very trustworthy. And there’s the usual unfinished business the two. Well, what do you expect from an alien who has been in drug, drink, sex and murder rehab? Party at your house then….?
This is the first episode of Torchwood. The script and dialogue was leaden, full of double-entrendes and slow. It looks like they spent all their pounds, shillings and pence on the special-effects towards the end. The only thing I liked was the title of the episode “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” as it seemed like a homage to film critic Pauline Kael.
I wonder if they believed employing Spike as an old mate/lover of Cap’n Jack would sprinkle some of the Buffy magic on the show? Well, it didn’t work along with that weird spaghetti westernsque music playing in the background everytime Cap’n John appeared.
I liked Spike being in it, but I am biased and with a limited script like that you can’t really do that much with it. He is supposed to re-appear in the final episode…..
Why don’t they just bite the bullet, save up the pennies and employ Joss Whedon as they are so desperate to emulate Buffy? Instead of imitation you have the real thing.
I have been a bad person. For I objectified the lovely James Marsters from 21.07 to 21.45 this evening. Is there a socialist equivalent of the Hail Mary? Coz I’ll be needing several dozen of the chappies.
Well, what else was I supposed to do? In the absence of a decent plot, acting, dramatic and sexual tension, I had to invent my own. And very nice it was, too. All washed down with a nice tumbler of whisky.
Comment by Brigadier Miaow — 16 January, 2008 @ 11:01 pm
I don’t agree, I thought it was very entertaining.
James Marsters has massively improved his English accent since that second series of Buffy.
Comment by Graham Day — 16 January, 2008 @ 11:08 pm
You mean I suffered alone watching this duff episode thinking of useful things to write…?
Sexual tension….oh I wish!!
Comment by Louise — 16 January, 2008 @ 11:10 pm
Graham: I think it is also how you define entertaining? Because there wasn’t any real chemistry or excitement between any of them.
Comment by Louise — 16 January, 2008 @ 11:11 pm
Uuumm… there was people being thrown to their deaths… and guns… and explosions…!!! Plus (limited) tension, and good characters.
I enjoyed it, anyway. It’s the first episode of the new series, I wasn’t expecting some massive cliffhanger.
(This isn’t the Eighties, after all)…:-)
Comment by Graham Day — 16 January, 2008 @ 11:16 pm
I’ve come to the conclusion after being disappointed when Torchwood started her in Oz last year that Russell Davies has some brilliant ideas but just hasn’t got the chops of a Whedon (and a few other US TV writers) in terms of putting decent, believable and enjoyable plot development, dialogue and character complexity in with the clever overall scenarios.
It seems the arc of development of the US communications industry (in which it’s hard to make a movie unless it’s mindless dross that will ensure the necessary massive returns or you’re willing to struggle for years to make an indie), has meant there’s quite a few quality pop writers in TV).
For me Angel - darker and a bit more political, especially the brilliant last series - was the better Whedon show. It deserved another series, as did the perhaps too complicated Firefly. Good to see Masters has improved his accent though, I remember a few clangers like “ass” from him in both Buffy and Angel. And it’s great to Whedon (and big boofy whatisname who played Angel) on the writers strike picket lines.
Comment by Nick Fredman — 16 January, 2008 @ 11:44 pm
“(and big boofy whatisname who played Angel) on the writers strike picket lines.”
That would be David Boreanaz.
Comment by DF — 17 January, 2008 @ 6:34 am
“This isn’t the Eighties, after all)…:-)”
Graham: Too right! In the 1980s you had the fantastic Blake’s Seven!
Comment by Louise — 17 January, 2008 @ 9:50 am
Just keep the memory of Blake’s Seven in your head Louise, i made the mistake of watching an episode recently, and it hasn’t aged well. Brill at the time though.
Comment by Andy — 17 January, 2008 @ 9:52 am
haha ive just finished argueing with phil @ a very public sociologist about this. cant believe ive found 2 posts in lefty blogland on the issue of torchwood. still im new to this blogging business im sure ill run out of serious posts to write at some point!
Comment by adam — 17 January, 2008 @ 1:37 pm
When Whedon had a writing or directing credit on Buffy or Angel, they were almost all classics. All the large staff of writers admitted that they drafts had to be submitted to Whedon about five times, with notes, deletions of scenes, insertions, and lots and lots of new jokes. On the commentaries on Buffy and Angel, all the other writers admitted that when their fans pointed out what they most liked about one of their episodes, it was almost something Whedon himself came up with. Whedon managed to cultivate talent though. A few others came up with some episodes almost as good as Whedon’s own. By the time he got round to Firefly, every episode was a classic. A lot of Angel was spoilt by Whedon delegating lots of control to David Greenwald in the first three series. When Spike joined Angel in the third series, along with Harmany, and Whedon did not have to divide his attention between three series, Angel came of age. I only watched Torchwood because James Masters was on. I had high hopes. Very, very disappointing. Russel T Davis has committed the same mistake Whedon did when he delegated creative control to a far lesser talent. The dialogue is poor, as is the characterisation. And the actors have no emotional range. The attempts at humour fall flat, as they did most of the time on Angel until the final season.
Comment by JOSS WHEDON FAN — 17 January, 2008 @ 11:52 pm
Ah, Firefly!
Take my love. Take my land.
Take me where I cannot stand.
I don’t care, I’m still free.
You can’t take the sky from me.
Comment by David T — 18 January, 2008 @ 9:57 am
To give a dissenting opinion, that was IMHO one of the three best Torchwood eps ever. Which isn’t saying much since the first series was virtually unmitigated crap. But at least they *might* be doing something more interesting this time round.
As for people who would be interested in seeing something more political in the Dr Who mythos, I don’t think you’ll find that in the TV series in the era of showbiz glitz and corporate gladhanding. Now some of the stuff written in the Dr Who novels which were published 1989-2004 is frankly brilliant, on the other hand. I recommend “Interference” by Lawrence Miles in particular.
(Disclaimer: I am not a Dr Who nerd, I just used to date one.)
Comment by Daphne — 19 January, 2008 @ 9:34 pm
Blake’s Seven: The RSC night-shift, in space!
Honestly, Andy, how can you say it hasn’t aged well? Servalan’s hair? Avon’s booties? Orac’s voice? All precursors of the current epoch.
David T. I hear ya brother.
Comment by BatterseaPowerStation — 19 January, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
I heard an interview with Paul Darrow (Avon) on the radio about blake’s Seven who explaine dit was on such a low budget, in the last series they only had one prop space-gun, and they had to take it in turns being filmed shooting it.
Back to torchwood, I have watched the episode now (ahh the joys of On demand cable) and I thought it was good.
the missing ingredient for Torchwood is a long story arc that unites the hwole series, this is what s needed so that even the weaker episods are still dragged up a bit by their contribution to the big story. Ths structure was used very well for Buffy and Angel.
Comment by Andy — 19 January, 2008 @ 11:07 pm